Thursday, January 14

Usually Thursdays are one of my more relaxing days of the week, but today it was a tough one. It started out ok, then I had a meeting with Mr. Calderon. He explained to me some special needs of some kids in my classroom, how to help them and also some pointers/suggestions on how to run the class better with discipline and keeping the kids attention. They weren’t necessarily personal to me, but it still made me feel like I still don’t do enough to discipline my kids when I feel like that’s all I do sometimes. I don’t know if I didn’t start out hard enough on them and now there’s not the routine which helps my class run smoothly or if Mr. Calderon is expecting too much. It was just another thing to make me feel like I don’t know how to do this job and wonder why I’m being a teacher for a year. I don’t know what else to do to get my kids to behave and pay attention in class. Then they continued to not pay attention during the day which made things worse for me; I even sent some to the hall. After school I had tutorias, which are the kids who need the most help in the classes they struggle in. I asked them at least 3-5 times for their attention and they would give it for a second then start talking again. Finally fed up, I walked out and went to the office to get Mr. Lara to come talk to them and that helped some. Also progress reports are due tomorrow so that’s another thing to add to the plate of not fun stuff today. I just wasn’t in a good mood during the day. I get so hard on myself and want to be able to do everything I should to be the best teacher, but I don’t know what to change, how to change, how to adjust things to kids, how to have more patience, to be more creative and still be structured….ugh.