Wednesday, Oct 28

I was very frustrated today for numerous reasons. I think with the long weekend, being sick and missing a day, and lack of communication from the administration are the culprits. My kids go to the first recess with the little kids on Wednesdays because of chapel, so I let them out as normal for that recess. Well right after, I was informed we didn’t have chapel today because we were starting to practice things for Fiesta Tipica. So my kids had 4 classes between lunch and recess instead of the normal 3 classes. I think with it being warm that day and being out of the normal schedule contributed to us both being kinda crabby once lunch hour came around. I was also informed today that I had to suspend my tests and quizzes until next week because of Fiesta Tipica practices. It will be for the better instead of trying to keep track of the kids who have done them and the kids who haven’t. But it would have been nice to have more notice then 2 days. Plus next week is the week for recuperation tests and final grades for the nine weeks.

I often wonder if I just don’t have enough patience, or if this is a normal part of teaching; some days are better than others. I just felt really drained at the end of the day, partly due to not feeling well and the craziness of the day. I also like things to be under control and for me its hard to find the balance of when it is necessary to be in control and be strict and when its time to be a little more lax and just the kids be kids. Do I want control of my classroom because I can’t handle it when things don’t go the way I planned, or do I want control because it will be best for the kids and create the best learning environment for them? This is the balance I keep trying to find and keep questioning. Sometimes I wonder if I can stay another year here when I have days like these, but most of the time the benefits of my job (the kids, the beauty and simplicity of this place) outweigh the frustrations.